MANAGING MENTAL HEALTH - A DIVISION OF FANDEL ENTERPRISES
My Experience
About us
My name is Rene' Fandel. I'm the founder of Managing Mental Health (MMH) founded in 2017. MMH is a division of Fandel Enterprises, a Business and Technology Consulting practice founded more than 30 years ago.
My family began caregiving decades ago, with my father who took care of my mother, shielding my sisters, me, and the world, from her mental illness. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was in her 20s.
In 1981 my middle sister was in an airplane accident and suffered Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and has required 24/7/365 care ever since.
In the mid 1980's my oldest sister began showing signs of mental illness. She has since been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, a Bipolar Disorder, a Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Lupus and severe Celiac Disease.
Through the years I have been a caregiver helping my mother care for my father until his death from cancer in 1997. Following my father's death, I was the caregiver for my mother until her death from Alzheimer's and Dementia in 2010.
Today, my family and I continue providing care for both of my sisters.
MANAGING MENTAL HEALTH - A DIVISION OF FANDEL ENTERPRISES
My Mother
My Oldest Sister
My Oldest Sister
My mother was Schizoaffective, which is a combination of Schizophrenia and a Bipolar disorder. She had a panic disorder, severe allergies, and later in life developed Alzheimer’s and Dementia.
My Oldest Sister
My Oldest Sister
My Oldest Sister
My oldest sister has been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, anxiety, a panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), severe Celiac disease, Lupus, and severe allergies.
My Middle Sister
My Oldest Sister
My Middle Sister
My middle sister suffered Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) due to an airplane crash she was in. The severe brain damage destroyed her life and altered the lives of our entire family.
She requires constant care.
MANAGING MENTAL HEALTH - A DIVISION OF FANDEL ENTERPRISES
My Mother
My mother was Schizoaffective, a combination of Schizophrenia and Bipolar disorder. She had a panic disorder and later in life developed Alzheimer’s and Dementia. As I grew older, I looked back at her behavior and at our relationship and realized that about 80% of her was controlled by her illnesses. That 80%, was challenging and could be terribly unpleasant. The remaining 20% of her was a beautiful, fun, loving and lovable woman who had a beautiful smile and contagious laugh.
My mother was truly the queen of cover-ups! She was terrified of getting Alzheimer's; I suppose we all are at some level. My mother was afraid of being a burden to her family and I think what scared her the most was losing her independence. For whatever reason she didn't want to depend on others, maybe she was just too afraid.
Having wrestled with, and denied, mental illness most of her life, she developed finely honed skills for covering it up. So, for me to realize something was wrong, really wrong, took a while, as she had an excuse for everything she covered up. Maybe I was in denial too. One day she called me in tears, telling me it took her 3 hours to get home from the market which was about 10 minutes from her house. I finally accepted that I needed to take her to the doctor for a diagnosis. I think she was pretty far along the Alzheimer's journey by then. I asked her if she thought she might be getting Alzheimer's and she became livid, so I realized that I had to be discrete. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for her with her General Practitioner and explained to them ahead of time the real reason for the appointment. I was surprised when the doctor told her the diagnosis right then and there. She cried and I cried. As we left the doctor's office, I had no idea what was ahead of us.
Mother passed while living in my home in 2010. My two young adult sons and my oldest granddaughter were also living with me during that time, as my sons helped me care for my mother and sisters. Four generations under one roof, at least for a time. The last thing mother smiled at on the day she passed was her two-year-old great granddaughter, who had stepped in just for a moment to say goodnight to "Great-Gran".
MANAGING MENTAL HEALTH - A DIVISION OF FANDEL ENTERPRISES
My Oldest Sister
About 30 years ago, through sobs and tears, my oldest sister asked me if I thought she was "crazy". I love my sister and the last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings, so I said, "of course you're not crazy". She has always been very shy and sweet. At that time there was clearly something wrong, but my family and I thought she was having a nervous breakdown. After all, she had been a homemaker for about 25 years and was going through a horrible and painful divorce. She was afraid her husband was going to take her children. Like so many women I've heard about, she let him have everything so she could feel secure in keeping her 3 children.
She and I agreed that she and the kids could move in with me. At the time we lived in different states. As she traveled to my home, she became stranded halfway because her soon-to-be ex-husband cut off all her credit cards, leaving her penniless, no money for gas or food for herself and the kids. She called me in tears. At 1:00 in the morning, I drove to Western Union and wired money to her. That was the first of many times she came to live with me.
I share this part of her story because it’s important to know that many individuals are predisposed to certain mental conditions. It just takes a trigger such as stress to ignite the condition.
When she asked me if I thought she was “crazy” I should have encouraged, even insisted that she see a doctor. Even then she would not allow me to go to the doctor with her. I believe her condition would be so much better today, had she received proper medical care at the onset of her mental illnesses.
Currently, my sister has been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, anxiety, a panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), severe Celiac disease, Lupus, and severe allergies. She is in her 70s now and remains on her medications. She resides with me or one of her adult sons. She will never be able to work or be self-sufficient again.
MANAGING MENTAL HEALTH - A DIVISION OF FANDEL ENTERPRISES
My Middle Sister
In 1981 my middle sister was in an airplane accident and suffered severe head trauma, a twisted brainstem, severe brain damage, she now has no short-term memory, and her long-term memory is adversely affected. She suffered a loss of peripheral vision and overall vision, and loss of reasoning skills. She now has terrible temperament issues. She suffered numerous broken bones and has screws and plates implanted holding her together in places. She also suffers from extreme fatigue and needs help with almost everything.
Due to a medical error, one of her vocal cords was removed because of damage caused by the Tracheotomy. She walked with a cane for years. As her decline continues, she needs a walker and will most likely need a wheelchair soon. She requires constant care and supervision to avoid endangering herself.
One of the worst things is the chronic confabulation. Confabulation is the weaving together of multiple real memories to create a new and false memory. The real memories can come from television shows, movies, something she heard about someone else, something that happened to them, partial old memories, etc.
Doctors explained that my sister has the mental capacity of a 3 year old child. My sister was educated and well-spoken prior to her brain damage, which makes her confabulation sound realistic when in fact there's no truth to it whatsoever. This can be very problematic for the family of someone who suffers from confabulation. It is critical that families understand how confabulation can adversely affect them.
The plane crash destroyed my sister's life and severely disrupted the lives of our entire family. My middle sister lived with my parents until my father passed, then with my mother and now with me, most likely for the rest of her life.
The CDC defines a traumatic brain injury (TBI) as a disruption in the normal function of the brain that can be caused by a bump, blow, or jolt to the head, or penetrating head injury. Everyone is at risk for a TBI, especially children and older individuals.
